A Fat Gay

So I am having a little get together this evening. Not sure how this is gonna play out with the hymen situation with puppy, but it should be okay. She is on medication so we shall see. And no, it’s not a bunch of homos gathering around the fire to sacrifice small animals and pray to the moon gods above. It’s my girlfriends family coming over to play cards. Now here is the kicker. WhenI first taught this card game to my girl, Carolyn, it was a very different game then it is now. See, it’s called “Chase the Ace.” You play with a piddly .15 cents. This way the kids can get involved and all. You know, like a happy loving get together? Well, not for Miss Carolyn! I taught her the game and she said, “.15 cents? Who the hell wants that?” 10 people playing and you can rake in some cash was my answer. Fun and games right? Well, she has now made it so the ante is $15 bucks! I now have to save for 2 months before I can play my childhood game. I mean, do we have a gambling issue here? Anyways, now the pot is like $50 bucks each hand, so this is a party that constitutes adult beverages and chips. Well, I might make some dip or something else, hell I can’t afford the dip if I gotta ante up. Let’s hope I win some of this cash tonight so I can pay for puppy’s broken hymen. I’m off to chase the ace.

Djfunkyslick

Ok look, I know you are thinking something ridiculous right now, but I am in distress mode right now. I purchased a puppy in February and this little girl has had any and everything imaginable wrong with her. Parvo, tapeworms, bladder infection, and now, NOW, a broken hymen! What the hell kind of dog did I get? are you kidding me with this broken hymen? Apparently, this is an affliction that affects lots of female puppies. I have never heard of this and I think my vet made it up because I’m gay. Kidding! But seriously, her hymen has a hole in it and is causing bladder infections and spontaneous peeing. And by spontaneous, I  mean while she is asleep on my lap. For pete sake. Anyways, she needs surgery and that will cost a million I am sure. Say a prayer people. She IS the neighborhood gay dog.