A Fat Gay

I am convinced I have the demon in hell puppy. She has an extra toe, a broken hoo-ha, barks in her sleep, and for the love of Pete, devours the cat poop. I have an enclosed kitty box so that my little kitty cats can have some privacy, but this dog has to take her ass in the little door and waddle around in the litter. Then, as if bringing me some prize, prances to us with her giant cat turd dangling from her mouth. UGH!! Disgusting. Gross gross gross. We scoop and scoop and yet she somehow knows when we missed a kitty bowel movement and dives right in. Carolyn is at her wit’s end and ready to just boot the puppy out. Often you can hear Carolyn yelling, “you gross dirty little pig!” I myself am not enjoying finding the lone kitty turd laying by the washer with specks of litter stuck to it. This is my punishment for being gay isn’t it? A simpleton, moronic puppy. Hell on earth. There, all the right wingers got their wish.

And I finally signed us up for dog insurance. Quite the cost I must say, however, I believe cheaper in the long run should anything bad happen. Like if at any moment she develops a second head, or starts meowing from all the cat doo.  It could happen.

–djfunkyslick