A Fat Gay

If I had a dollar for everytime someone asked me, “when did you know you was gay?” I could retire right now to that homo haven on the beach, Key west. Seriously, my next reply is going to be, when did you know you were a heterosexual? A breeder? even though some part of me understands the curiosity of it all, I just prefer a little more intelligence regarding the issue.  Just a little. Like you could ask me, how did you feel when you first realized this? I then would more than likely incorporate the time frame in my answer. I am not sure why it bugs me so much, maybe I’m just a bitch. Well, I am gay so there has to be SOME kind of character flaw, right?

To answer that question for all of you out there wondering, I knew something was a little wacky in second grade. I did not know what it was at the time, but I was strangely drawn to my second grade teacher. And looking back, blauugh, I don’t know why! I was a little kid who didn’t know any better. Thank God my taste got better with age. So, as I said, something was weird, I didn’t know what, but boys were ucky. They were fun to push into the gym wall and slam the dodge ball against their little bodies. But that’s about it. Speaking of dodge ball, the sado-massichistic gym teacher we had implemented boys vs. girls in this barbaric game. At a catholic school to boot! I guess when you are not having sex you have to get your jollies some how. And small children hurldling through the air, landing on their faces against that waxy gym floor was a ton o’ fun for you. Anyways, I was always the last girl standing against 5 or 6 boys. Of course I never won because they all ganged up on me and threw the balls so damn hard I didn’t have a chance in hell. Oh, sorry Sister Marie De Lis. A chance in heck. Was this the beginning of the lesbian plot? A group of boys with hard flying balls aiming at my face?

HAPPY EASTER~~~~

djfunkyslick